that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
