and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize