I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this beer tastes like vomit already
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
