I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My pussy is not your playground.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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