If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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