we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize