I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
