Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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