Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
