im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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