3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
