Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
