I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You need Xanax blowdarts
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
