lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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