is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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