we have pet lesbian snakes
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize