Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
