those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
