i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize