i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize