if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Randomize
