My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
