Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
