Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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