my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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