Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
