Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
