your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
