that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
