having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He passed out mid-signature
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
