i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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