You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize