I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
