Sry I called you an 8
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
