theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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