guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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