He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Oh god it's open bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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