I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
These tits shall not be calmed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
