It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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