Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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