Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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