He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
