I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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