My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
