don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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