Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
