My first STD was from a foam party
so explain again why im purple
no
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
