You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
