Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My feet surprised me
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
