why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
