Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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