Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize