Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
