Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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