im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
