We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
