If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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