Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
