like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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