If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
