I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
