Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
