420 ftw
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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