He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
