I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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