After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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