Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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