i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
