Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize