So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He shit in the fireplace
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
