I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
