if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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