i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
