plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
