I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
