and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize