Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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